DAY 1

All things NEW! 

Today I’m traveling to Pamplona to arrive at the start of my Camino. I’ve never been to the north of Spain, and that in a bullet train!! Exciting and scary at the same time… 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

What can I do in times that my anxiety flares up?

Remember you are not your feelings… they are apart of you not all of you. 

Your anxiety makes up a part of who you are but you have other parts as well. Like the “healthy adult” who can talk to the anxious side of you and remind her that there are other options and that the anxious side is not alone. In fact that side of you can sit out for a bit and let the healthy adult take charge. 

Also, anxiety is not a bad thing. We need anxiety sometimes especially when we go into a strange environment or undertake a new challenge. Allow the anxiety – keep an eye on it but don’t feel like you need to respond to it or act on it. 

Pretend it belongs to someone else and sit back and observe…

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DAY 2

Daily routines.

I have noticed that my daily routine plays a big role in how I feel. 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

What routines and habits are good to try and do every day?

Such a cool question! So rooted in the importance of improving personal connectivity. 

Every day, we all pretty much end up having to do some stuff we don’t want to do. I think the important thing is to notice ourselves and how we are doing in that day. Just checking in with our body and how it is feeling. 

Our emotions and noticing. 

Encouraging ourselves if we are tired or sad and congratulating ourselves, if we are super on it that day. 

The dream of 8 hours rest, 8 work and 8 play, is just not always possible. But what there is always time for, is to find one thing a day to be grateful for, to make contact with one person a day who adds meaning to your life and to do one thing a day for yourself. 

These can be small gestures a quick sms to a friend. An extra 3 minutes in bed in the morning, being grateful for that hot cup of coffee. 

Gratitude, connectivity and self care, are the elements that ultimately add to an improved sense of well-being. 

So as I often remind myself… KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!!

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DAY 3

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. 

Today I’m walking from Puente de la Reina to Estella. It’s a 22km stretch and should take about 6 hours. It’s very much up and down all the way. Up is fine, but down is so HARD on the feet! 

When I think of my feet, they pain, if I think of my back, it pains… I need to think of something else.

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

When the going gets tough how do I keep going? 

So nothing lasts forever, although sometimes it can feel as if it might. 

It is at times like these, when we do well to remind ourselves why we started what we are doing in the first place. 

What was the intention behind the action? If we base our life on good intentions, it makes it easier to keep going when things get rough!!! 

Also a little “vas byt sisi” can do no harm. One step at a time!!! 

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DAY 4

Meeting people.

I am meeting a lot of new people and worried about boundaries. 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

How do I set healthy boundaries?

Boundaries are there to keep you and others SAFE! 

Say – tell people when they say or do things that make you feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to be confrontational just clear. 

Affirm – it is your responsibility to keep your boundaries, sometimes you need to tell people more than once. 

Feel – check in with yourself. Maybe you need to adjust or add boundaries. Your feelings will let you know if your boundaries need checking. 

Explore – boundaries will help you to feel safe and help people to feel safe around you. Leaving everyone free to explore new relationships.

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DAY 5

Changing lanes.

Today we have a reflection instead of a question with our walking mamma! 

I’m walking in the middle of the path, there are little stones every step I take, they’re hurting my feet so much. 

Finally I realize that if I just change my lane to the one aside, where everyone has walked already, it’s sooooo much easier!! 

Sometimes we just need to make a little change to the path we’re walking in order to make things easier for ourselves. 

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DAY 6

Self love.

I just couldn’t continue, my body, feet and soul needed some resting. 

As I leave my new friends behind and walk alone, I find myself reflecting on myself. I’m finally starting to be kind to myself and even finding my ‘good trades’ that were always invisible to me. 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

How important is self care really?

I think self care is the beginning and end of everything. 

To be able to care for ourselves we need to listen, to think about and act on what is good for ourselves. 

We increase our personal connectivity and embrace ourselves. Helping us to be able to accept what is ‘right’ and forgive what is “wrong’. 

Ending behaviour such like victimism, selfishness, fearfulness and intolerancy. 

Increasing our ability to feed our soul and setting us free to love and live as is helpful to ourselves.

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DAY – I don’t even know! 

Religion vs Spirituality.

The days are becoming a blur. The last two days I walked a total of 68km. My feet hurt, I’m tired, I’m emotional… but my fellow pilgrims are pushing me through and even praying for me.

I’m not religious.. but I’m walking with a group of mixed religions on a religious pilgrim path.

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

Do you need to be religious to have a spiritual life? 

So this question is related to the previous one.

In fact self care is one of the behaviors, which support living a spiritual life. 

Others are volunteerism, social responsibility, optimism, contributing to society, connectedness with others, feeling of belonging or being part of a group, and love of self. 

So do you have to be religious to be spiritual? 

What’s the difference between religion and spirituality? 

Religion is made up of specific set of beliefs and practices. Religions are usually shared by a group. Spirituality is more individualized.  It focuses on having a sense of peace, of purpose. 

The idea that there is something greater than just ourselves. That there is more to life than just our sensory experiences. That we are part of something greater, be it cosmic or devine in nature. 

Wether you connect this to religion or not is your choice.

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DAY 8

Asking for help.

The path is getting harder as we move forward. With almost no shade and very hard terrain.

I’m so inspired by all the people I meet along the way! They are all so kind and encouraging. But mostly I’m in awe of how helpful they are to one another!! 

I’ve always seen ‘asking for help’ as a weakness, but realize now that I might be wrong. 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY: 

Is asking for help a weakness?? 

I love this question!

So often people say: Be strong, be brave, don’t be scared and whatever you do, don’t verbalize any of these feelings to anyone. 

This can especially apply to men.

So here is something to think about… 

To be courageous means to act when even afraid. 

So if we can’t connect with our fears and concerns, we don’t get the opportunity to ever be brave. 

And so, by denying our children their fears, we deny them the chance of bravery. We think to be sensitive, open and ask for help is weakness. 

Well I think it is generally the opposite. 

Being brave enough, to be honest enough, to admit that you need help, is one of the bravest things, I think, you can ever do!

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DAY 9

Knowing when to stop.

And so we come to an end… not the end, only a temporary one, as our mamma Africa takes a pause from her Camino de Santiago.

I have walked about 200km. Putting it into perspective with knowing how far it is from my mom’s house to my brothers house… I walked almost there and back! Not bad at all!! 

I have pushed my body so far… actually too far. My head is so strong that it doesn’t listen or care what my feet are saying.

My feet have been in so much pain for so many days, but I find it so difficult to stop and take a brake. 

The last path I took was so hard and so long. It really felt never ending to my feet and even my mind.

In the end it broke me… I cried and cried. About the good and the bad… I let it all out. And it felt good!

I realized that most of the problems I have, I do to myself, as I don’t respect my body, I don’t listen to it, I don’t take care of it and I just don’t know when enough is enough!! 

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

How do I know when it’s time to stop? 

So let’s rather ask, what stops you from stopping? 

Fear of failure? 

Fear of what others might think? 

Fear of regret?

What is the opposite of fear? 

Feeling safe? 

So as an adult your safety is your responsibility. You need to make yourself safe and this happens when you can trust, and rely on yourself, to do what is helpful for you. 

So we go back to, what was the good intention that you began this journey with? 

Have you fulfilled some of it? 

Or do you have a better idea of how to fulfill that intention? 

Or have you realized that maybe that intention needs some adjusting  to be truly what is helpful? 

If you answer yes to any of those, it is probably time to stop…

For now anyways!!

As long as the decision is YOURS. 

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HOME

Good vibes.

So our walking mamma is home sweet home. She has a very interesting question for us…

So I’m home and happy to be home, but of course this ‘real world’ comes with real responsibilities.

QUESTION TO HAYLEY:

How do I keep my good vibe? 

I think the key words in this question are “how” and “my”. 

“How” asks for an answer that only you hold. The how is in the doing. 

You arrived at this place through a process of pausing and taking time for yourself. Noticing and reflecting on “you”. 

Feeling/ thinking, acknowledging your hopes, fears, desires… and then action, making change. 

The “my” reminds you that this is yours. Your responsibility, yours to take. 

Remember nothing changes if nothing changes. 

You don’t get to blame other people for your unhappiness. 

You know what to do, just keep doing it.

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